How Heartbreak and Connection Led Me to My True Calling

Heartbreak to Reflection

There are moments in life that shift everything. They may not announce themselves with fireworks or grand revelations. Sometimes, they arrive quietly, disguised as heartbreak or connection. Looking back now, I can see that two moments, two small seeds, planted themselves deep within me and grew into what would eventually become my calling as a coach.

The First Seed - Unintentional Inspiration

A few years ago, I went through one of the hardest chapters of my life. I had just discovered that my ex-spouse had been unfaithful. My world cracked open, and I found myself trying to make sense of everything. The pain, the confusion, and the wave of emotions that came with it.

I talked to anyone who would listen, not to vent or seek sympathy, but because I was trying to process what had happened in real time. One of those people was a co-worker named Alex. During lunch breaks or after work, I’d share what I was learning about myself. How I was choosing to stay calm, to remain compassionate, and to keep living in alignment with my values even though my heart felt shattered.

Month after month, Alex listened. And though I didn’t realize it at the time, he was absorbing more than just my story, he was watching how I responded to adversity.

About eight months later, Alex told me he was going to Thailand for a month. I didn’t think much of it until I asked,

“What inspired you to go?”

He smiled and said something I’ll never forget:

“Honestly, it was you. Watching how you handled everything made me want to change my life for the better.”

For a moment, I was speechless. Me? The one who felt broken and lost? Somehow, my struggle... my simple choice to stay true to my values... had become someone else’s turning point.

The Ripple Effect of Authenticity

When he came back from Thailand, he was a different man. He started living intentionally, exercising again, eating well, reconnecting with what gave him joy. Seeing his transformation was humbling and surreal. That was the first time I realized how deeply our presence can impact others, even when we don’t mean to. That was the first seed.

The Second Seed - The Power of Presence

The second seed was planted much later, during a time when I’d begun to heal and open my heart again. I met someone who made me feel more like myself than I had in years. Around them, I didn’t feel the need to perform or protect... I could just be.

Whenever we talked, something extraordinary happened. It was as if the world around us disappeared... no stress, no noise, no past or future... just two people existing in a shared moment. I wasn’t thinking about what to say next or how I sounded. I was simply there.

I listened with genuine curiosity, asked questions without judgment, and for the first time, I felt what it was like to be completely present with another person. It was almost mystical, like I could feel what they felt, see life through their eyes. In those moments, connection wasn’t something we built... it just was.

Over time, they began opening up about things they’d never shared with anyone before. They told me, “I don’t know why, but I feel safe talking to you. I’ve never told anyone these things.” Hearing that left me quietly stunned and deeply grateful.

Eventually, life took its own turn, and we went separate ways. But that feeling... that indescribable sense of connection, that awareness of how presence can make another person feel truly seen... never left me. It was the second seed, one that kept growing silently inside me.

Finding My Path

A few months later, during one of my reflective evenings, I started thinking about coaching again. I had come across it years before, but only briefly. Just enough to sense that it was something meaningful. This time, though, it felt different. The idea of coaching kept resurfacing, like a whisper I couldn’t ignore.

I began reading, exploring, and researching everything I could about the field. The more I learned, the more everything in my life began to make sense. The heartbreak, the healing, the moments of connection... they weren’t random. They were preparation.

Coaching, I realized, was the bridge between everything I’d lived and everything I wanted to give. It was a way to take the empathy that had once come naturally in my conversations and turn it into something intentional. A space where people could explore, heal, and grow with guidance and compassion.

So, I decided to follow that path. I began formal training, working toward my ICF certification, and started building my own practice... a space for transformation, reflection, and genuine human connection.

Presence and Connection

Looking Back

When I look back now, I see how those two experiences shaped everything about who I am as a coach.

From Alex, I learned that even in our lowest moments, our authenticity can inspire others in ways we may never see coming.

From that later relationship, I learned the profound power of presence. Sometimes, what heals isn’t advice or fixing, but being fully with someone in their truth.

Together, they taught me one of the most important lessons of all:

We never know whose life we’re changing just by being ourselves.

That single realization continues to guide me. In every conversation, every coaching session, and every quiet moment of connection.

It’s a reminder that transformation doesn’t always begin with a plan. Sometimes, it starts with pain. Sometimes, it starts with love. But it always starts with being present, both with ourselves and with others.

And from that presence, change unfolds naturally.